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April 16, 2003

Dayenu 2003
by Artemis


This piece comes from my correspondent Artemis, definitely funny and appropriate enough to share. In every age they rise up to destroy us. But the Holy One, Blessed be he, delivers us from their hands...

"How many levels of favors has the Omnipresent One bestowed upon us:

If He had destroyed the Ba'ath party, and had not carried out judgments against their allies the French, the Germans and the Russians, Dayenu, it would have been enough!

If He had carried out judgments against their allies the French, the Germans and the Russians, and not against the Ba'ath party idols, Dayenu!

If He had destroyed the Ba'ath party idols, and had not smitten Uday and Qusay, Dayenu!

If He had smitten Uday and Qusay, and had not delivered to us their plunder, Dayenu!

If He had delivered to us their plunder, and had not made the victory swift and sure, Dayenu!

If He had made the victory swift and sure, and had not made Baghdad fall like a drunk in a whorehouse, Dayenu!

If He made Baghdad fall like a drunk in a whorehouse, and had not created the stupidest antiwar movement ever, Dayenu!

If He had created the stupidest antiwar movement ever, and had not freed our POWs, Dayenu!

If He had freed our POWs, and had not exposed the UN as an empty bankrupt parliament of frauds, Dayenu!

If he exposed the UN as an empty bankrupt parliament of frauds, and had not nabbed Abu Abbas, Dayenu!

If He nabbed Abu Abbas and had not cut off the oil pipeline from Iraq to Syria, Dayenu!

If He had cut off the oil pipeline from Iraq to Syria, and had not freed the prisoners from the Iraqi torture chambers, Dayenu!

If He freed the prisoners from the Iraqi torture chambers, and had not exposed Jacques Chirac for the prize a--hole he is, Dayenu,!

If He had exposed Jacques Chirac for the prize a--hole he is, and had not given the Iraqi people a chance to create a democracy, Dayenu!

Thus how much more so should we be grateful to the Omnipresent One for the doubled and redoubled goodness that He has bestowed upon us; for He has destroyed the Ba'ath party, carried out judgments against their allies the French, the Germans and the Russians, smote Uday and Qusay, delivered us their plunder, made the victory swift and sure, made Baghdad melt like a drunk in a whorehouse, created the stupidest antiwar movement ever, freed our POWs, exposed Jacques Chirac for the prize a--hole he is, and has given the Iraqi people a chance to create a democracy to atone for all our sins.

Dayenu!"